All over the Blog-o-sphere, a series on a satirical look at volunteer firefighting. Is this the next Rescue Me? Worth a watch-
WARNING: ADULT content
http://www.youtube.com/user/justonmckinney
justonmckinney A comedy series about a volunteer fire department in Effingwoods NH. In this episode Ben (Juston McKinney) and Smitty (Gary Valentine) respond to a fire call. This episode co-stars Lenny Clarke (Rescue Me).
Episodes One and Two
UncleJayExplains | September 19, 2010
Halloween and the midterm elections are coming, and we all know which is more frightening. Uncle Jay can't help being nervous, but he's not nearly as nervous as some politicians. They might have to actually start looking for the jobs they haven't created.
Late again, been fishing this week so here is this week installment of Uncle Jay -
Summer fiction episode! Enjoy great fantasies like: Afghanistan's going great! Elena Kagan will reveal her thoughts! Senators actually hear in hearings! Twilight fans care about critics! We all love to spell "Patraeus!" Uncle Jay explains.
Not mine, but interesting none the less, received via email, been around and started the new year off right. Makes you think?
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not..
Four is larger than two..."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..
Do not confuse the clerks at McDonald's.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman , KS .
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We were having a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker, as she was leaving the company due to 'downsizing' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side.
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS (NO WONDER FORD'S IN TROUBLE!)
IDIOT SIGHTINGS:
When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Miami , Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a Latino guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said, "Cool"!
STAY ALERT! They walk among us...
We have been traveling and limited internet access, so that’s why you have not seen an post for the last week. I will make it up, I have gotten some emails that are well worth passing along. So here is this weeks Uncle jay Explains. this week he reports on Groups going gaga for Sarah! Globe goes green in Copenhagen! Gitmo goons go to Gotham! Tiger doesn't go anywhere. Uncle Jay explains it all!
And here is last weeks installment of Uncle Jay -
Those people sneaked into the White House and met President Obama, but now they have to return the 400 billion dollars he gave them. The system works! And Tiger Woods landed one in the water, which was unfortunately inside a fire hydrant. Uncle Jay explains it all!
You most likely have gotten emails that list some things that will tell you how old you are. I made up a list of things that are no longer used or are not the way things are done anymore, how many can you remember. Want to add some, leave a COMMENT!
Do you remember?
If you remembered 0-5 = you’re still young
If you remembered 6-10 = you are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = don’t tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = you’re older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of being on a fire department.
Don't forget to pass this along!! Especially to all you’re really OLD friends...
You can stare at goats, or at a dead singer's movie, or at a health care bill that's ready for its close-up. The news is pretty much constant paranormal activity, but Uncle Jay explains it all!
Here's another weekly installment of Uncle Jay Explains the news from YouTube and uncle-jay-explains-the-news Ex-politicians dance on TV, while REAL politicians tango with tyrants! The world's leaders met in New York and Pittsburgh, and they proudly promised to do something someday about something. Maybe. Uncle Jay explains it all!
| Ted Kennedy may have been the Lion of the Senate, but it hasn't been Hakuna Matata there for a long time. Can't health care just be re-mastered, like Beatles songs? Uncle Jay explains it all, with almost no Michael Jackson! |
Thank goodness our Death Panels will be all American, so there's no nasty Russian judge like at the Olympics. Hey, Paula Abdul's available! Plus, Dick Cheney tortures himself over what to reveal in his new book. Uncle Jay explains it all!
Attention! Health care reform bill to Emergency, STAT! Obama makes a casual comment about Barbarians at Henry Louis Gates, and suddenly all health breaks loose!
Guns! Sometimes this issue is so frustrating, you just wanna SHOOT somebody! But no, Uncle Jay calmly explains the blast from the big guns at the Supreme Court, and the return fire they're getting. Plus, Bill Gates shuts down his career by clicking "Start." Figures.
Three firefighter went out on a hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief. The weather was miserable and they hadn’t seen any deer all day. Finally they came across an old shack where they went inside to play a game of poker.
After loosing a couple of hands, the probie threw down his cards and said “That does it! I am going out to get me a deer.”
Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point buck. The captain and the chief asked, “How did you get that?”
The rookie replied, “I walked out fifty feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck.” The captain then said, “I’ve had enough of this I am going to get my deer.” He came back a half hour later with a 6 point buck.
The chief asked, “How did you get that?” The captain then replied, I walked out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck.
The chief not wanting to be out done said, “I’m out of here, I’m going to bag the biggest buck of the day.” He came back an hour later, all mangled up and bloody. The rookie and the captain asked, “What happened to you?”
The chief replied, "I walked out there five hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a TRAIN!
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A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door. The little boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman’s hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The fireman says “Hey little boy. What are you doing?” The little boy says “I’m pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!” The fireman walks over to take a closer look. “Little boy that sure is a nice fire truck!” the fireman says.
“Thanks mister”, says the little boy. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.
“Little boy”, says the fireman, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog’s neck I think you could go faster.”
The little boy says, “You’re probably right mister, but then I wouldn’t have a siren!”
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A fireman and a policeman die and both go to heaven where they are issued their wings with the warning that if they had even one bad thought that their wings would fall off.
Everything was going fine for some time then one day they passed a very attractive young lady.
As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off.
When he bent over to pick them up the policeman’s wings fell off.
Mar 14, 2009 (2 days ago)
Lady puts tanning bulbs into pub lights.
People got sunstroke inside a pub - after the manager accidentally put in bulbs from a tanning machine.
Emma McLean replaced the blue strip lights behind the bar with high-powered ultraviolet tubes.
Unsuspecting workers and regulars stood underneath the lights for hours and some needed hospital treatment.
Barman Morgan Smith suffered severe burns to his neck at the pub in Buckie, Banffshire.
His sister Emma, 21, said: "He was really badly burnt and had sunstroke.
"He was all dizzy and couldn't see because of the brightness of the lights.
"His neck started peeling and was in a right state.
"Nobody could believe he got sunstroke from standing behind a bar."
"The lamps are only supposed to be used for a few minutes at a time.
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Carpool Dummy Gets Ticket
You forgot to buckle up, the dummy!
A commuter who put a homemade dummy in the passenger seat to sneak into the car pool lane was caught Wednesday near Seattle. But it wasn’t because a cop realized the passenger was fake.
Instead, the State Patrol trooper noticed the dangling belt buckle on the passenger side and suspected a seat belt violation.
Patrol spokeswoman Christina Martin said that the driver acknowledged trying to beat traffic by using the HOV lane.
He created his passenger by draping a rain jacket over plasticpiping, topping it off with a Halloween mask of Gandalf, the "Lord of the Rings" wizard, a beard and a baseball cap.
The trooper issued a $124 ticket and confiscated the dummy.
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Woman Puts Drugs In Boss's Coffee So He'll 'Chill Out'
A woman is in jail after police say she drugged her boss. Police say an employee from the Reynolds Road Animal Clinic slipped a Valium into one of the veterinarian's cups of coffee sending him to the emergency room.
Shortly after Dr. John Duckett had some, coffee he knew something was wrong. Employees at the clinic tell police they thought he was having a heart attack, but it turns out he had been drugged by one of his own. There are certain things you expect to find in your morning cup of Joe like sugar and creamer, but not drugs.
Veterinarian Dr. John Duckett knew something didn't feel right while working Tuesday morning at the Reynolds Road Animal Clinic in Bryant. That's when someone from the clinic called 911.
"He knew he hadn't taken any medication, he hadn't taken any prescription pills. He had suspected that he had been poisoned at his office," says Todd Crowson with the Bryant police.
Now 24-year-old Erin Kelly is behind bars after telling police she drugged Duckett because, "he needed to chill out." "She came in this morning and we talked with her and she ended up telling us what happened, pretty much confessing," Crowson said. "She actually admitted to putting a substance in his coffee which turned out to be a Benzodiapine." Benzodiazepines, like Valium, are tranquilizers. They can reduce inhibitions, typically used for reducing stress or anxiety. We're told Kelly worked at the clinic cleaning cages. Now she's in one.
VIDEO
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Man Unwisely Tries to Rob a Tae Kwon Do Studio
A robber gets more than he bargained for when he targets a Tae Kwon Do studio in suburban Milwaukee.
The robber thought he could quietly slip in and out of David Kang's studio in Fox Point with some loot.
What he didn't realize is that he would encounter a Tae Kwon Do master who wasn't about to let him off the hook. Kang was giving a private lesson Tuesday and heard someone in his office. Kang found the man going through his closet, grabbed him by the neck and sat him down while he called police.
The robber took off and Kang gave chase, finally catching up with the man and holding him by the neck until police arrived.
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(SORRY FOLKS, I GOTTA GO WITH THIS ONE)
One dark night in the small town of Garfield , NJ, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, 'All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They have to be saved, so I will donate $50,000 to the fire company that brings them out and delivers them to me.'
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in because the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them.
Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Lodi , NJ volunteer fire department composed mainly of Italian firefighters over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Italian firefighters, passed fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched in amazement as the Italian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire as if they were fighting to save their own lives. Within a short time, the Lodi old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman accomplishment he was raising the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly Italian firefighters.
ATV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. The 'on camera' reporter asked the Italian fire chief, 'What are you going to do with all that money?'
'Wella,'said Chief Pasquale De Luccinellavanti, the 70-year-old fire chief, 'de fursta tinga we gonnna do isza fixa de brakes on dat fockinna truck!!'
